Letting Go Part 1

So after much thought about this whole incident i got involved in a couple of months back I've finally decided to blog about it. it may not be pretty but i think i need to get it off my chest, so here we go.. please bare with me on this... :-)


It started with a whisper in the dark, a sentence which was spread between 2 lonely souls. "If you could have me right now, what would you do?" that sentence would forever change the lives of these 2 individuals. they were like any 2 regular souls, but with complicated personalities which bounded them together and brought them closer towards each other... "All right cut it out, stop screwing around with me" he said. but deep down inside he was in away hoping she wasn't because he knew that this could not happen, he could not have her whom he had been in love with for the past 2 years as he knew that she had already promised herself to another.. "I'm not kidding .. i mean it. If you could have me with you right now, what would u do to me?". We all have our moments of weakness i presume.. if you were put in that situation. if you were placed in his shoes what would you have done?

Here was everything he had dreamed of, everything he wanted placed right infront of him. the girl of his dreams, the one who he had been thinking about for so long finally admitting to him that she did have feelings for him, but the only glitch was that she was already with someone. He gave into his temptations and what began as an innocent conversation between 2 bestfriends turned into a steamy & sexy love note. chat logs were created in secret, text messages were sent between the 2 & what something of friendship turned into something more.. they tried to brush it off stating that they need to get each other out of their systems & this was the only way to do it... just give into their temptations just this once and go back to normal... how naive they were or rather how stupid. From the moment their lips met he was hooked! he couldn't believe how something which felt so right was so wrong.. he wanted to taste every bit of her from her tender moist lips..... to be continued

Random B.S

so here i am still @ work waiting for my phone to ring so that i can go for this gig with a friend of mine... yipeee im finally going out hehehehe... TGIF!!! hope its a good show... couple of good line ups involved.. Daddy.. Hollow... Manuk.. Azlan & Sanka... yeah so shud be good... now if only ishi gives me tht bloody call that she promised hehehe.... well lifes been generally alryt these past few weeks... i've finally made my peace with Ms. Best friend... well we aren't as close as we were before but still something is better than nothing right?... anyways i've put what happened between us behind me and am finally looking forward instead of reminiscing about the past.. stared reading www.kottu.org and was really glad i found out about it.. been an avid blog reader ever since... there are some which i just keep reading... divine lady, cyanide (who happens to be my aunt by some strange twist of fate), Rhythmic Diasopora. Ooh and not to mention little miss 69 well the 69 part is in french i assume hehehe... she s been taking the blogosphere by storm with her blog the pleasure principle... oh my... and what does she talk about?? none other than SEX!!... no wonder everybody's hyped up hehehehe..... man she is the first SRI LANKAN woman to be so honest and open about the going ons in her bed hehe..... simply amazing read.... anyways after much talk of sex being the most talked about things in the blogosphere i've decided to write up what happened between Ms. Bestfriend & Me... the whole story of how & when it all happened...... so yeah just wanted to say.. damn now i have to sit down & write it..... crap... nvr been that good a writer... anyways.. will put up that post as soon as i write it up... & yes its 100% true... but its not as good as 69's posts but well its wat happened to me :$.....

until we meet again... adios... aiyo ishi!!! where the crap are u men!!!

oh... P.S. i kinda met someone.... well not met exactly... just been talking to a friend alot lately & we've been getting really close... i even asked her out for a movie... just a general thing but who knows where it might lead.... she is by far the most sweetest, most adorable girl i've ever met..

ok ok thts enough then... ishi just msged... no its not her btw.. if u were thinking that... i ll kepp u ppl in suspense a little longer :) hehehehe... well im off.. ciao...

Icarus - Your Lullaby

This is a song by one of the most talented lyrical bands I think that Sri Lanka has ever produced.. It's especially something i hold dear & quite nostalgic for me..

Lay your head down
On my shoulders
And close your eyes
Tell me softly
That you’ll love me
For the rest of our lives
Let me kiss theTears on your face
You don’t have to cry
Just listen to me
When Im singing
Your lullaby

When I watch you sleeping
There’s no place on earth
I’d rather beI can feel your heart beating
And I know that it’s calling out to me
I don’t say this much
But I love your touch
More than words
Who needs heaven and
Who needs angels
When you’re in the world

When I watch you sleeping
There’s no place on earth I’d rather be
I can feel your heart beating
And I know that it’s calling out to me
And this is your lullaby
Your lullaby
Your lullaby
And this is your lullaby
Your lullaby
Your lullaby

When I watch you sleeping
There’s no place on earth I’d rather be
I can feel your heart beating
And I know that it’s calling out to me
I will keep you
Safe forever
Just close your eyes…

Obsessions Are a Bad Thing... Aren't They??

I've got to stop obsessing over her..... I mean come on its over MOVE ON DUDE!!!.... yet why do I look at her blog atleast once a day? Why do my thoughts always stray towards her? Why do I miss her so much? Why do I constantly pick up my phone and think about calling her? Why can't I just move on and be happy..

I know that she's moved on... she's perfectly happy... it's just sad that it had to end in the way it did.... i wish i could take it all back... wish I could just rewind the clock & make things the way they were before that awfull day...

There are so many things i want to say to you... I know that I didn't appreciate you the way I should have, I took you for granted and now you hate me... you hate me...

she fucking hates me..........................................................................................

Being Used And the Weirdness of Life

so I've come to realize something... for past few months i was being USED. I was used as a shoulder to lean on, used as a substitiution for someone who wasn't there & last but not the least for intimacy.isn't it amazing what people will go through just to make themselves feel good...... A once friend of mine once wrote a couple of months back on her blog about what she thought of INFIDELITY and how much she hated it and how she thought that anyone who was thinking of doing it should refrain from doing so.. this was rather Ironic as she cheated on her own boyfriend with her bestfriend... isn't it brilliant how quirky and cynical life can be.... the same person who was against something ended up doing it. hahahahaha.....

P.s & for those of u who are wondering who the bestfriend was??? yes it was me.... hence the whole hatred for being used... but i've got to say tht it was partly my fault as well beause i very well knew wat i was getting into... I should've never agreed to do what I did.. I should've been stronger and helped her out in her moment of weakness... I should've been a better friend....

Life is just plain weird!!!

Pretty Exciting Weekend

so i guess i had a really exciting action packed weekend. Friday evening was spent @ rugby practices where we were brutally murdered by this new fitness caoch of ours. oh man was he a drill sergeant!! i felt so ashamed because i always fail to finish the tasks tht he set out for us.. Man was i beat after tht practice session. come saturday morning i woke with the usual aches & pains tht proceed a rugby practice. i took my mom out marketing as dad was rendered out of order due to a hernia operation.. oh crap i'll have to do everything now :( ... then in the evening went to watch the bradby with a couple of my friends... end up running into so many ppl i know.. my cousin brother was playing prop forward for trinity so glad to see them win the first leg of the bradby. lets hope we get the same result for the next leg too!!...... got home @ around 8ish & got online .. chatted for a bit & went to bed...

Sunday was an exiting day becos I was waiting to watch the CR & FC vs. Kandy SC rugby match which the local channel eye had promised to broadcast.. the morning was spent me husking COCONUTS yes MOI oh god hehehe.. hey but i did manage to husk all of them without a fuss... mom made the usual sunday special lunch which was delicious as always.... & then it was game time.... i switched on the tv only to find out tht no match was being broadcasted... CURSE these Idiots who authorize powercuts. Apparently there was a powercut in Kandy therefore the Channel Eye ppl cudnt broadcast the match... HMMPH got damn idiots!!.... when they finally showed the match it was in the second half Kandy was leading 15-10 & i was feelling the creepiness of defeat again.... but then CR played beautifully to bring the score to 15 all... & i was @ the edge of my seat hoping for a miracle... tht CR wud beat Kandy in Kandy after wat lyk 10 years!!!! but it just wasnt to be... Kandy managed to put in a penalty by Saliya kumara and take the lead to 18-15.. CR managed to get to inches away from the Kandy line before tht idiot of a referee Fitzgerald had to blow the whistle signalling the end of the game... sigh... wat an enthralling game of rugby it was..... brilliantly contested by both sides... big hits by the forwards & sum brilliant displays of running by the backlines of both teams.....