What The Dawn Brings

Last night was bit of an eye opener for me.. many truths were revealed to me about last year and I am thankful to that person but I still haven't processed it all.. I don't know what to make out of it.. I feel like people are pulling away from me and I from them. Maybe this was what I wanted, maybe this is just them being busy... Someone told me that I have the tendency to get attached to people and that necessarily isn't a good thing..

I woke up in the morning to a text from a friend I've gotten close to recently, after replying to her I don't know I just got this sense of dread and feeling of sadness.. Maybe it was my knees which are killing me right now.. ( bruised them during practices last night ) or the fact that I feel like something's gonna go wrong.. you know sometimes you have a feeling like somethings not right.. like your entire world is about to fall apart..

Was chatting with a friend last night and she told me that she was almost raped when she was 15 I was so shocked and angry because this was one of my classmates and well she was bit of a nutter but still she is a good person. I cant even imagine what she would've gone through... I sometimes wonder why this world has to be so cruel? I really hope the asshole gets what he rightfully deserves the prick!

I wonder what life has in store for me, this from a person who dreads thinking about the future.. I really don't know why I am here even.. I'm not a very intelligent person, I'm not a jock.. I'm just average and a floater.. I've lasted so far out of pure luck and help... I hate the inside of my brain right now.. so many conflicting thoughts... love/hate/friendship/concern/depression...

Why can't I be just happy? sigh.....