Some people change through time.. some don't.. is it mandatory that we have to change? that we have to adapt to the environment that we live in? I look back at what I was four years back and the comparison appalls me.. Four years ago I was this naive, caring, nice, honest, innocent.. today.. I don't think I have any of those qualities that I had back then..... It's really weird.. what happened to me? why did I change? did I realize that I had changed? Did I do this to myself? Is it a part of the growing up process that we need to change?
I realized today that I haven't been truly.. honest to god happy in four fricking years... that's a bloody long time to be depressed... what the fuck's wrong with me? Why I can't I be happy? Ever heard of the saying " Practice what you preach".. you'll never find a hypocrite greater than me... I've always been the consoler, the shoulder to lean on during tough times, the adviser... It's a role I just stumbled upon one day and it suited me well... I would say things to people and they'd listen and most of the time the advice I would give them would help them out... but did it mean that I believed in what I was telling them? Hell No! I know, I know bloody bogus of me but hey they felt better afterwords..
But somewhere along the lines its all gone astray these days I rarely get into that role as all I seem to do is make things worse... I've become a negative.. somewhere along the way I've become this pessimistic, depressive, dishonest, narcissistic, narrow minded... AGAD! sigh.... Males you wonder.. what in the world happened? Maybe its good that I've been unlucky in love.. I mean look at what I've become.. women would be better off without having someone like me in their life... I'd just drag them down with me...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
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3 comments:
Certain experiences leaves you feeling and becoming someone you were not. The world is in transition, and you can't expect anyone or anythign to remain the same!
It's definitely a good thing that you are aware that you have become dishonest ect., at least NOW you have the option to continue being the same way OR to look at things a little differently. :)
When you lose, do not lose the lesson. Dalai Lama
:) cheer up!
*EGAD
:D
Cheer up, foo'
Ado! Nice blog man, didn't know you could write and all. :O
Very interesting post! Change is inevitable dude, most of the time people change whether they like to or not... all we can do is try to curb our changes every now and then so that at the end of the day, you don't hate what you've become.
Cheers! (:
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