Something I Want to do Right Now!

"Stick a tube down my throat and pump all the phlegm withheld in my lungs!"

* has an extreme coughing fit *

BloggerNality (Blog Personality)

So M.o.M and I were having this conversation about bloggers and what it would be to really meet some of the people in real life.. and well some are still anonymous where as others we know.. cos of meet ups and open mic nights etc..

Which got me thinking I mean its funny how you draw up this persona of a person just by what they write and when u meet them for real it kinda all takes you by surprise.. I've met a couple of bloggers and well some were kinda ok i.e. lived up to the reputation hehe.. others were weird and a few others disappointing.. hehe.. I used to think Whacky was this fat dude with glasses who's was working in an IT company or something like that hehe... but in reality he s the opposite lol..

Then a couple of months back I met another blogger who was supposedly thought to be extremely H.O.T and well was kinda disappointed to be honest.. I mean hey don't get me wrong the looks don't really count, they could be an awesome person but just I meant you know attractiveness vise.. hehe..

I can say for a fact that Makuluwo is her schizophrenic self even in real life so there's no change there hehe... then you get people like Sabby who are actually very very mellow and sheepish in reality.. but crazy nuts on their blog... Jerry as always is an egocentric.. annoying but good hearted bugger just as his blog portrays...

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that we really shouldn't give too much thought to the blogs and the personalities of the bloggers as in real life they could be totally the opposite..

HAIYO

AIYO....

SIN MEN.....

ANEY PAUW....

Just made things worse...

Feeling so guilty also...

Hope it'll work out in the end..

Was just trying to help....
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*the stone Midas touch strikes again...

Sometimes I wonder

Do we deserve the happiness we have in in our lives?

Man as a being have depleted most of the earths natural resources and will keep doing so until she has nothing to offer us.. It kind of reminds you of the part in the first Matrix movie when Morpheous is captured by Agent Smith. Agent Smith starts this rants on how humans are similar to viruses... all they do is destroy.. I mean if you think about it.. its kind of true.. we are fast running into a deeper and deeper hole of environmental despair... be it the polar ice caps melting.. the hole in the ozone layer or the strange horrendous storms that keep popping up all over the earth.. We will all have to answer for the part we have taken in creating these destructive forces..

On a totally unrelated thing.. funny thing happened today.. I went for driving lessons and halfway through the instructor got thirsty and we ended up stopping for a plain tea & patties.. lol hehe was having a chat with the old bugger and as usual we ended up talking about the current state of the country.. and came to an agreement.. theres no "We" concept thinking.. thats the main problem.. everybody's selfish and thinks only about themselves.. "I" concept.. This thought process must stop and we must adopt a "We" concept... funny how 2 totally random people can have a decent conversation and come to the same conclusion..

Robbing a Bank!

That's exactly the way I feel right now.. I absolutely Hate being broke men.. sigh.. ever since this year started I've been living pay check to pay check.. or rather in this case.. pocket money to pocket money....hehehe... I don't go out as often as I did before.. I don't socialize as much as I did before... all work and no play makes FINroD a very dull man...

I wish I was working again men.. at least back then I had the money to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted... I've tried budgeting and trying to make ends meet and all but it never seems to work.. its not like I spend all my money on cigarettes and alcohol.. I don't smoke.. but well lets just say with the amount I'm getting nobody could survive... Its really hard when your like invited to all these things but have to keep turning them down because you just cant even afford the travel expenses....

And the worst part is well... I really can't bug my parents for money cos well they are both retired and well they are kind of tight themselves as well.. so I feel really guilty... It's just really depressing to not be able to go out like I used to... jobs are out of the question unless its a 1 time gig or something... becos well.. working while doing the final year of ur degree is NOT a valid option... so I'm like stuck between a rock and a hard place... financially...

Man I wish there was a quick way to make some money.. Like I remember a couple of years back.. me and a friend got paid 3k for being ushers at this event at water's edge.. that was cool.. to bad there aren't any gigs like that anymore... Everybody keep's saying only a couple of more months dude.. then u ll be done and then u ll get a job.. errmm.. hello?? have u seen the current job market right now?? nobody's hiring... I have friends who graduated LAST year and even they are still out of work.. sheeeesh.. anyways.. just wondering when this stupid financial crisis I'm having will get over... as I said earlier.. being broke SUCKS!

A Blast From the Past

So I found this little or rather long note of quotes and revelations I dawned on a couple of years back and thought I'd put them hmm..... reflecting through the note I guess not much has changed.. sigh....


• When it comes down to it, what anyone really needs is someone to talk to and relate their problems to. Its not always about sex, it’s more about companionship and man’s desire to rid himself of this disease called Loneliness.

• That is why any man talks to a woman. It is to rid this sense of loneliness; after all don’t we all want someone to cherish and hold and to be held in return.

• It is a word from the mere mention of it can bring great happiness to a person’s life but could also equally bring great destruction. Men have fought wars over this word and have killed themselves and countless many others. This word does not exist; it is the driving force of mankind. It is rather sad that with all of mankind’s advancement they still fail to see that LOVE does not exist. It is a false sense of hope given to a man to explain a feeling that will not last forever.

• To be lonely is like being in a long deep coma that one cannot come out of. You can hear what goes on around you, but can’t get out of the misery and bullshit of this world. It creates this instant barrier between you and the world and gives you this immense feeling of loathsome for everyone and everything around you.

• Why is that virginity, is such an important issue? Is it that we can’t stand to know that that our loved one belonged and connected with another; mind, body and soul. Is it so disgusting that relationships are broken from the mere mention of this word?

• Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn, but if this is true why are most crimes committed upon women.

• To Fuck someone is to say that you were only physically attracted to that person, but to make Love to a person is to acknowledge the presence of a special bond between you and that individual.

• Man is polygamous by nature so he will plant his seed anywhere that he can, but women are monogamous by nature so they will always want only one person and are satisfied with that one for the rest of their lives. Hence this is why women are so jealous.

• Why is that when you try to solve other peoples problems, they end up having more problems than before they had started to speak to you.

• Why is it that the ones you love are the ones who hurt you the most? Why do we always throw away the most important people in our lives? People runaway or elope but they fail to realize that what they have done will come back to catch them in a year or twenty years from now.

• The times and trends may change through the dimensions of time and space but ones beliefs should not change.

• They say that we should be glad for what we have, but how can this apply to a person who has nothing to be glad for?

• The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking. They act as doorways to never ending lands where you can wander in your solitude and imagination.

• My pure existence has been a purposeless mistake. I do not have a goal, achievement or purpose in life so what the FUCK, am I to do?

• Sometimes you just want to scream until your lungs burst so you can slowly release your grip on life while the blood oozes out of your body.

• ANGER! A power that can overcome any situation. It’s amazing what anger can do to a person. It can make you hold a grudge for generations ensuring that your offspring will carry on with your hatred after you depart this ungodly earth. But for most of us anger is a way to lash out against this pathetic earth that we live in. Anger is good.

• WHY, WHY do I sabotage every single prospective good thing in my life.. its like I'm Midas or something.. except for the fact that when he touched things it turned to gold, but when I touch things they turn to dust.... WHY, WHY??

I Know

"That the decisions I've made might come back to haunt me someday.. but in order to protect myself and others from myself I need to stick to them......"

Things I Have to Keep Telling Myself

STOP CARING!

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET YOURSELF INTO THIS KIND OF SITUATION EVER AGAIN!

FOCUS ON THE THINGS YOU NEED TO FINISH!

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU GIVE YOUR HEART TO!

Everything Tastes Like Chicken When Its Cooked!

So by now I think we've established that I'm a healthy meat eater and come from a very strong family of meat eaters as well. I've eaten the usual chicken, beef and mutton but also animals like rabbit, turkey, duck. Yesterday as usual my mom headed over to my loku ammi's (mom's elder sisters) place to spend the night looking after grandpa.. Thursday nights she usually does that. Well my dad goes and drops her.. and we were supposed to figure dinner out..

when my dad came back he had brought string hoppers... now I'm usually not a big fan of string hoppers but I was hungry and wanted to eat.... so there was a bit of the afternoons tongue curry left and well.. loku ammi had sent some curry back through dad as well. Dad said that it was chicken satay.. and me being the perethaya that I am.. thats glutton btw.. hehehe... I took some and ate it with the strings...

At first it did taste like chicken but then as I munched away.. I dont know for some reason it felt different so I asked dad wats wrong with this chicken? and he was like nothing... theres nothing wrong... just eat.. so I did.. I mean it wasn't bad.. It was actually quite tasty.. but I kinda new that there was something fishy going on cos well it tasted a bit different.... So in the morning when my mom came back.. She says... "Ahh how was the curry that Uvama( loku ammi.. Uvama is the malay version of it..) sent last night? was it tasty?" I was like it was alryt... then she says I dont know how you could eat it... I was like :S huh.. then she says.. its was THALAGOYA... I was like :O HOLY CRAP!! hehehe.... I just ate monitor lizard meat!! :O WOAAH!! hehehehe... I mean ppl say that its supposed to make you really strong and all but I dont know.. :S

It was alryt I guess... simillar to chicken hehehe... gosh the things my loku ammi and thaathi catch.. sheesh... It seems loku thaathi had killed the lizard in their garden and this was the result of it.. LOL...

so another truly "PISSU SANDA MOLE" moment....

Knight in Shining Armour Syndrome

Are you someone who doesn't like to see others in pain?

Does it break your heart to see someone you care about being sad?

Are you a shoulder to lean on and a person to tell all their troubles to?



"Congratulations! You have what is called The Knight in Shining Armour Syndrome or a Hero Complex"

Who Knew

Well.. I went for my driving license written exam today... was a piece of cake... it was at 2.30 and it was in Gampaha.. so I took the bike and left at around 1.15 had a very nice interesting ride there.. would taken around half an hour to get there I guess. It was an interesting ride.. made me think why I love riding a motorbike all over again.. Got there... had to wait outside for a bit.. used it to do a bit of revising.. then went in... you know I've never been a fan of government servants.. they sit there being paid by our taxes and then they put all their part and all.. maara pada ne.. but I was rather shocked today.. when I went into the examination hall this man who was one of the invigilators was very nice actually... he explained for us what to do and did in a very friendly manner.. the amusing part was when I asked for an English question paper... they actually asked me to write up a request on my answer sheet asking for an english paper and giving a reason why I want one... hahahaha... I guess it was to check if I really did know english because well they've updated the question papers, but apparently only the sinhala and tamil papers... nobody's updated the english one.. so yeah.. hahahaha.. lucky me.... cos I saw some of the sinhala papers.. they were a bit tough.. but the english paper was as my old mathematics teacher would say.. JUJUBEs... finished it in like 10 minutes and buggered off..

I think these papers are rigged so that no one will get 100 out of 100 or rather in this case 40 out of 40.. even in the english paper some of the last questions were a bit confusing and since its multiple choice so the answers were all a bit simillar and you had to use the best suited answer for the situation. One of these were If involved in a accident do u a) take the injured person immediately to the hospital by another vehicle. b) mark the accident area and then take the injured person to the hospital. c) do either of the quickest of the above. I was like meh? :S :S :S... hehehehe... so yeah but the rest of the paper was simple enough.. enjoyed the ride back and been enjoying October Road ever since.. =D....

All in all.. not a bad day.. having some friends over for lunch tomorrow should be interesting..

Whatever Happens

Things will never go back to the way they were... It'll never be the same.. I think I realize that now... It's a sad thought but... I guess we all change eventually.. even you...

Of Crooked Referee's, Cowardice and Graduation Balls

Oh man what a weekend!! talk about hectic!! had the Match on Saturday evening, then a birthday party in Moratuwa and then the Graduation Ball on Sunday... Sigh.. was thoroughly disappointed about the match.. It was our game.. but the referee started pulling towards the SLIIT guys.. well its to be expected they did organize the match... but still that was the worst officiation that I've seen.. he wrongfully penalized us.. in the end it ended up in a 7-7 draw.. sigh... interesting thing though was the massive fight in the second half with 20 minutes left on the clock.. they started hitting some of our players then we started hammering them.. then the crowd got involved.. it was one huge fight!!... once the dust had settled.. or rather once we broke up the fights.. the idiot ref gave this huge speech on how we shouldntve fought bla bla bla... and refused to officiate the game.. finally got the bugger to referee it again... at that time we were leading 7 -0 then the SLIIT team scored a try and converted.. there was 10 minutes left on the clock and this fool blows full timee!!! I mean WTF?? sigh... so yeah... after the match.. I had to leave early and go to my friends place in Moratuwa for his 21st Birthday Party....

It was fun had a nice time there... danced alot.. cudnt stay long tho.. ma parents were in dehiwala at a homecoming so they came n picked me up.... the next day I find out that after the match and after most of our crowd had gone.. there were 8 of our buggers left and around 30 SLIIT buggers had ganged up on them and beaten the crap out of them.. I was like WTF?? Come On!! 30 against 8!! bloody cowards!! was really pissed off about that!.. BLOODY PUSSIES!!... so sunday was spent lazying away a bit and recooperating from the match and party... then in the evening I went for the Grad Ball!! oh man it was AWESOME!!!! the booze !! the Food!! the Music!! the Latin Dancers :P lol hahahahaha... had a brilliant time.. danced and danced and danced like crazy... ended up coming home only today morning at like 5 AM lol.... man that was one brilliant party!!

So all in all a very very eventful weekend with lots of excitement and disappointment as well... guess thts life though... =D

In Sickness & in Health

I really hate being sick.. absolutely detest and loathe it... when I get sick I get cranky, I get mean. I become a down right pathetic moronic hateful loathsome bastard.. When I get sick I get sick BAAD and I mean BAAD!! heres a list of things that piss me off right now:-

It pisses me off:-

that I might have to miss my match on Saturday on the count that I can barely breathe right now.

that I'm missing today's Christmas party because I'm too sick to attend it.

that someone changed their status to "in a relationship".

that I've screwed up my attendance at uni and these SOB's will never let it go even though I've been sick.

that it keeps on raining every fucking day.

that I can't understand jack of whats been taught at uni.

that someone called me a whiny, spoilt baby.

that other people are happy ( yeah yeah whatever.. DIE U FOOLS)

Now piss off and leave me alone!

Current Physical Status - CPS

"COUGH COUGH COOOOUUUUGGGHHH........"

"AAHH AHHH AAAAHHHCCHHHOOO"

"SHIVER...."

bitch of a cocktail this is... cough, cold and sore throat... plus the fever is on its way sigh.... i hate phlem coughs... fluid in my lungs... tonsils all swollen... cant even swallow food down properly.. nose is like a dripping tap.. sigh...... BEGONE U VILE GERMS!!

Archie Me Boy!

I'm sure all of you all are familiar with Archie Comics... haven't you ever wondered what Archie must be feeling like? I mean he has two really important women in his life: Betty and Veronica, but doesn't know who he really loves... funny situation in it.. both are really beautiful, strong willed girls who love Archie a lot but he cant decide amongst the two.. On one hand you have Betty who is this really pretty, caring and nice girl and then u've got Veronica.. who's this elegant, sophisticated, beautiful girl... personally I think Betty is waaaaay better than Veronica.. but hmm.. ever thought about it from Archie's point of view.. he has these two extremely gorgeous women but cant decide who he wants to be with... funny init..

Wonder if there are situations like that in real life? I know we are all really selfish when it comes to relationships and love but... hmmm.. just makes u think..

Of Illnesses, Confusion and Boredom

sigh.. I'm sick again.. got a bloody sore throat and the sniffles.... sigh.. I hate getting sick... this is so not the time for it.. I have another match on the 20th and this is an important one that I cant afford to miss... life is getting more n more complicated these days.. but then again when was it ever not.. today I met this childhood friend.. well actually still a friend... a neighbour friend one might call him.. an year back he joined the SL Navy and I'm seeing him after a very long time.. OMG he s around 6 feet tall.. and he was really chubby but now :O :O :O he s soooo thin men... he was like O and now he s I... man.. that was a shocker I could barely recognize him... but he s doing good.. even though basic training is really gruelling he s doing good... haiyo I hate being broke. its SUCKS!! I wish I could go out tonight.. sigh... Im soo freakin bored at home with nothing to do.. sigh... no one to talk to as well... sigh.. guess I really am not that much of an introvert lol... Heads messed up again.. still getting weird dreams... sigh.. 2008 why the drama??? ARRRGGHH * mind explodes....

We Won!! We Won!!

Heheheeh.. Wooo Hooo!! we kicked them ACHE bums asses... even in the rain... oh man what a match... 33-5 bloody good score ne... I was actually nervous because I was playing in a position I've never played before.. outside center.. I'm usually a wing three-quarter... but it was no fuss.. hehehehe.. only problem was I dint get to tackle one guy even.. was a bit sad about that.. went in for a lot of hits but no tackles :( hehehe... but one thing our guys lacked was a bit of discipline and well fitness was low even for me... by the time the second half started I was already gone.. but I was shifted down to full back position and the new guys were brought in to the attack.. hehehe from there on.. ice thama lol... they had even got a trophy done the crystal trophy!! pissu sanda mole... dint expect that.... after the match.. we headed for the usual post-match dinner/booze session.. ended up going to Salaka and eating dinner and drinking old arrack... even got the refs there hehehe... after a few drinks the refs were like.. if any of you guys want to become referee's just tell us and we ll do something hehehe..... overall it was a brilliant day....

On a more serious note... why is it that when it comes to women I get into a cycle of either hurting them or them hurting me... sigh.. I want to break this freaking cycle... I want to have a healthy relationship sigh.. I think I'm gonna go MIA from the dating world for sometime... get my head cleared out.. spend some quality alone time with myself.. scary as that sounds.. Right well its back to practices on Monday got the SLIIT match coming up on the 20th.. thats the important one.. gonna beat those arses to a pulp this year!!

Things I Want

I want.....

To win today's match

To stop recycling

To have him out of your life because I don't think we can be anything if he's still in your life including friends.

To stop being a mess

To have a purpose in life

To be a good son to my parents

To finish my degree with honours

To stop having messed up , freaky dreams
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oh bugger!!.. wrong day to be thinking of this shit... sigh...

Battered & Bruised

So as most of you would've realized by now I play rugby... die hard fan and love playing the game.. it does get brutal at times but I still love it... I read or heard from somewhere " Football is a gentleman's game played by thugs, whilst Rugby is a thug's game played my gentlemen" interesting statement init hehe.... anyways we have matches coming up so we've been having practices these days... got one on Thursday against ACHE - American College of Higher Education and then another most probably on the 19th against SLIIT. gonna be a good season but hectic with uni lectures n shit.... coming back to the topic today was hard.. had to practice in the rain and the grounds being wet and all... by the time we were done.. we were all covered in mud n muck lol... and on top of that we did tackling as well..

Now I love tackling.. theres no greater feeling than tackling someone and making sure its a nice solid tackle hehehe.. but today with the rain and the soggy conditions oh man its hurt.... I think I bruised a few muscles and have alot of scrapings.. you try tackling someone twice your size and you'll know what being hit by a locomotive feels like... not pretty sight... buggers shoulder rammed against my nose.. then later on I got tackled from the side... I think the bugger knocked against my calf muscle.. hurts like a bitch now although I dint feel anything at the time then... did manage to get in some good tackles as well... over all had a great practice... thursday's match should be an interesting encounter... can't wait to play that match =D...

Reason for this post = "I'm hurting right now.. but its a good hurt I guess.. keeps the emotional demons at bay :)"